Have you seen Cinderella?! My word! I LOVED it!! Made me want to get all dressed up and go to a ball! Oh, right.. Blog..
I have lived my whole life according to what I believe others may think of me. Until now!
This whole change of mindset has been a journey, to be completely cliché, of finding myself, accepting myself, and believing in myself. It’s not been an easy road, in fact it has been an absolute shitter at times! But here I am! In one piece! And I’m beginning to feel alive once more!!!
To tell you a little about me, I go about my everyday life thinking the best of people and seeing the silver lining in every situation. I see people for who they are on the inside. I don’t care if you’re rich beyond imagination, or have not a penny in your pocket. I don’t care if you own your own business, or sweep the streets at dawn. I believe everyone has their place in society, it takes all kinds to make the world tick. And if I see you treat others with respect, you will have mine. And yet…
I always thought people would judge me due to my appearance. I’ve always been a bit overweight, and my self-esteem was through the floor bunking in the basement(likely with a block of Whittaker’s chocolate). My relatives would often comment about my weight/diet/exercise. And each comment was like a knife to my heart. Why did it matter how I looked? Why can’t you show me the unconditional love I show to you?
It was tough going, I got incredibly confused as to what was thought of me. One minute it was being said that I needed to drop weight, the next I was being told I was beautiful. To hear from such a young age to adulthood, you begin to believe the latter is being said just to cushion the blow of the weight comments. If I can say anything at all to you all, it would be this – Be careful with your words. They hold more power than you truly realise.
It wasn’t until a few months before leaving home for England, that I began to see my way of thinking was wrong. I thought too much about what I thought others were thinking about me, and not thinking enough about what I think of me. (Try saying that 5x on your head!) I began to see that I am a fairly cool cat. Only now, in my twenties, am I seeing that I am indeed beautiful.The more I see the good in myself, the better I feel on the inside, the more it begins to reflect on my outside. I know not how much weight I have lost, I just know I would appreciate Gok/Trinny and Susanna to attack my wardrobe, as the clothing I brought from NZ with me now resemble pyjamas.
I can tell you this, it doesn’t matter what size, shape, colour or class you are, you do matter, you are important, you are beautiful. Treat yourself with respect, love who you are, and don’t think about what others might be thinking – you’ll only go prematurely grey.
Now where is my Fairy Godmother?! And will an easter egg be a fair substitute for a pumpkin??